1 Timothy 1:15 (NASB)
"It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus
came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all."
Many different people have many different
aspects of Christianity that they
grapple with, or at least have grappled with. Within the past couple of
the one part of Christianity that I've wrestled with has been the one
thing that should give me and the rest of us claiming
Jesus Christ as
personal Savior and Lord the most joy...GRACE. Many times, I've felt like
Paul in the aforementioned
verse, as I'm sure we all have.
Oftentimes, grace is easy to sing about (especially as a musician!), talk
preach about, teach about...and yet, it's so HARD to LIVE IT OUT.
Over the past couple of days, I've learned something
about grace that I've
never experienced before, for lack of a better way of putting it. I've
learned that it
is PENETRATING. The truth of grace penetrates down to the
very heart of me...so much so that when I think about
it...I feel even worse
than Paul in 1 Timothy 1:15.
It's become most penetrating while dealing with a beyond-friends
relationship that failed miserably and one that never got off the ground, so
to speak. I will warn you...I'm
STILL grappling and wrestling with this,
and it may even be something that I'll wrestle with for as long as I'm
a granted breath from God. It is SO EASY to think about the grace
that was given to us, but I cannot say I've thought
too often about what
grace REQUIRES because what it requires is hardest to give in those times
when grace is the last
thing you want to think about, like when anger
overcomes you, like it has me over the past couple of days. In those
it feels like it takes everything you have and then some to go beyond the
anger to the point where you extend
grace to those who need it.
But, when I think of God's grace, especially in the midst of my anger, while
still wrestle with it, grapple with it, and even in those times when
I don't even want to think of it when I'm angry...as
the song title
says...His grace still amazes me.
In love from God above,